Dear Dalia

I have a neighbor that has her head in the clouds, I would bet my bottom dollar she is dating a married man but she is blind to the situation. Here are just a few signs…and let me add they have been seeing each other for 4 years.

1.       Only sees each other one night a week (his choice, not hers) – yes they live in the same city.

2.       Never been on vacation together – not even an overnight getaway

3.       Won’t discuss the future with her – says he doesn’t know when he’ll be ready for kids or marriage so doesn’t want to talk about it – even though this is very important to her

4.       Hasn’t met most of her friends – and she hasn’t been introduced to many of his.

5.       He doesn’t encourage her to stop by unannounced- she feels like she is disturbing him – even if she is in the neighborhood!

6.       She thinks it is great if he hangs out with her on her birthday, or their dating anniversary.

 It saddens me when women either accept this but don’t have the courage to move on or if they are just so oblivious! Confidence is what this person lacks but how do we stop this vicious circle. I think of it as an alcoholic, they basically have to help themselves and usually that happens when they hit rock bottom. Hopefully then they will seek professional help or at least confide in their family and friends. My advice would be, end the relationship and take it one day at a time.

Does anyone have words of wisdom for this woman? 

4 Responses

  1. Send her this book immediately:

    He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
    by Greg Behrendt

  2. This clearly says the guy is not into her. I think she needs to move on. He is not going to change anytime soon. Most people do not change and you can not expect them to really. We are who we are and she must not be the one for him. It sounds like she thinks he is the one but the feelings are not mutual. I really don’t think he even loves her or he would tell her to start looking for someone else and set her free. He is playing mind games with her in letting her think he will be ready soon. She clearly needs to move on and think more of herself she deserves a whole lot better than him.

  3. This is truly sad. How can she not see that something is not right with this relationship?

    When you love and care about someone, you want to spend time with him or her – not just once a week.

    This girl needs to move on and fast — because she is going end up wasting a big chapter or her life on this guy -who has no interest in being part of her life story.

  4. Better save your bottom dollar for a rainy day but there is no question he is either married or seeing someone else.

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