My Year in Review

 It’s New Years Eve and I wanted to tell people/situations the thought’s I had.

Barack – Good luck; I wish you the best in your new position.

Palin – Go away…you too Miley C.

Bush – Good Riddance

Gas – You finally came to your senses now hover for a while.

Cher – Why did you have to cancel on me?

Prop 8 – Do not think for a minute you have won, you are messing with the wrong people.

Economy – I think we have learned our lesson; can we all come out of the corner now?

Britney – Always remember; act your age, not your shoe size.

OJ – Karma wins.

AIG – Did my party invitation get lost in the mail?

Starbucks – Are you still thriving with now only ONE on every block?

Hillary – If you can’t beat em, join em.

Madonna – You can thank Gloria Steinem, now pay up.

Circuit City – See what happens when I write a disgruntled letter about the company.

Ellen and Portia – I’m very happy for you, keep all those gifts, you will stay married!

Michael Phelps – Sorry but I think you’re a tad overrated.

2008- I’m glad your over and I’m hoping your successor is more promising.

Would anyone like to add to my list?

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Till death do us part

It’s the end of the year and everyone is “recapping” 2008…why do I always like to read about who died this past year. I also like walking through graveyards; maybe I should bring this all up in my next therapy session.  Of course some deaths are sadder then others, I remember when Jim Henson died I thought to myself “why does he have to die and Charles Manson still gets to live”. I guess when people do so much good for the world they should get to stay around longer but who am I to question the big “plan”.

I think one of the saddest deaths this year was Heath Ledger only because of his age of 28. Although his death was never stated as a suicide, just a drug overdose, it makes the statement “money can’t buy happiness” more true.  Michael Jackson is living proof of that line.

Then, while reading my list of deaths I’m always saying “oh yeah, I forgot that person died”. Paul Newman just died this past September and I had already forgotten. That was a huge death, he was a classic movie star but he lived a good long life dying at 83. I always admired him for his long marriage to Joanne Woodward. Another big one was Roy Scheider at 75, he starred in one of my all time favorite movies…Jaws. You’re gonna need a bigger boat!  Then there was Charlton Heston at 84, I think he played every biblical character but was most famous for Moses…I will break my own law and utter his name…so let it be written, so let it be done. (Only true The Ten Commandments fans will understand that line.) Another favorite of mine was George Carlin at 71. His saliva time was up, let me explain…his joke – Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

 I have to believe all these people are at peace now whether they were happy on this earth or not. One of my favorite quotes is from an Annie Lennox song “dying is easy it’s living that scares me to death”.

Maybe next year I’ll drive

I survived my Christmas traveling with only a few scars to show for it. First of all I had a great Christmas with my son in San Francisco, it was just getting there that was a task. I flew Southwest, maybe that was a bad decision to start. Yes, my plane was delayed but according to Southwest greed was the problem. They said over their intercom that San Francisco was letting in the big planes first even though we were scheduled ahead of them…you get more money for jumbo’s landing then our little aircraft. He referred to us as being treated as the red headed stepchild.

We finally did take off but unfortunately I was sitting in front of a kicker…a 5 year old who did not understand the meaning of the word “stop”. His oblivious father told him only once, I told him about 4 times but the kicking continued. Then I had the “cougher” next to me…someone coughing on a plane just isn’t good for a germaphobe like me. Every time he coughed I felt like I would be doomed to become sick at any moment. Then it was beverage time, why did they stop the cart and start taking orders like you’re in a restaurant, this whole process takes so much longer. I like that cart, even when it bangs into my arm, I like it. I asked for iced tea and when it finally arrives it is unsweetened…so then I had to wait another 5 minutes for sugar…all I wanted was the premade Nestea stuff that comes already sweetened…how many people actually drink iced tea with no sugar! Now the topper…my bag of peanuts was empty, I swear! The bag was sealed with not one peanut inside. I honestly laughed at this point.

My story does not end with the empty bag of peanuts. I patiently waited for my luggage to come down that chute but I knew I was in trouble when the belt stopped moving and my bag was nowhere to be seen. I was among about 5 people who gloomily walked to the dreaded missing luggage counter. I asked the lady where my luggage was and her answer was “we don’t scan the bags”. Then what the frick is the scan bar on my tag for?? She said she “hoped” it would be on the next flight.  Well lady, I hope you have a nice Christmas, I hope you get your next paycheck, I hope you don’t get the flu this year. What the hell kind of answer was that and how can they not know where my luggage is.

Coming home was easier…I only had one jerk to deal with. The woman in front of me in the security line kept beeping. Lady…you don’t go to the airport with 4 big ass bangle bracelets, huge hoop earrings and Mr. T chains around your neck. Are these people new to the world.

New Years Eve

Christmas Eve

The Daily Dalia is off to San Francisco for the holidays. First I’m hoping my flight actually leaves the airport because of all the weather problems happening in the country. If that happens then I will hope for no delays, anyone who knows me knows I hate to wait. But it does not end there, if that happens then I hope the person in front of me in the security line realizes ahead of time that yes, you do have to take off your shoes, belt, empty your pockets and not be carrying any large amounts of liquid on board with you. Now I’m pushing it…if all that happens then I hope the person next to me has showered and brushed their teeth. Then last, but not least, I hope I land safe. And on my return home…ditto.

I hope everyone has a great whatever you celebrate and just remember it’s not all about the gifts you receive its about what can you return on Friday. See you next Monday!

 

Speaking of

I found the perfect gift for your teenager this holiday season although it has to be a secret. Have you heard of zoombak, the personal GPS locators? What you do is hide this in their car, bike or backpack and it will tell you where they are. You can set up custom safety zones like “school” and the GPS will tell you when they arrive their (or when they cut out early or ditch school all together). You can receive this information from your cell phone, how great is that for the parent but awful for the child. This is when I am happy I was a teen in the time of dino-technology! You can also put it on your pet but that wouldn’t be as fun.

Speaking of gifts, I was in the Dollar Store (I know it’s awful but sometimes it is worth the trouble). I was looking for some stocking stuffers which can be more difficult than finding actual gifts…who came up with this concept. Well anyway I was at the checkout and I noticed a pregnancy test for…you guessed it…$1.00. First of all, why would you have these at the checkout and do they work for $1.00??? I would have to get a second opinion based on the cost, sometimes you do get what you pay for.

Speaking of pay, I was in the bank yesterday and there was a sign at the front door saying “All sunglasses and hats must be taken off before entering”. Maybe it’s because I don’t go inside banks much anymore but is this common? What if I’m having a bad hair day or I have pink eye and don’t want the world to know. I guess that is what ATM’s are for and why I avoid going inside a bank.

To hell with my two front teeth

equality

I’m really not trying to be all “Miss America”  like but honestly if someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year I would say let Prop 8 go away. Yes, world peace is my goal but baby steps. I was thrilled that Jerry Brown, California Attorney General, stepped forward and changed his course saying the measure that amended the California Constitution to limit marriage to a man and woman is unconstitutional because (drum roll please)…it deprives a minority group of a fundamental right. This man’s job is to defend the law and the entire Constitution…let’s hope he has some clout!!!

I was reading an article yesterday titled “Not another word on Gay Marriage until they execute an adulterer”.  Hey, it states it in the Bible so let the first Prop 8 lover who has never sinned cast that first damn stone!

While we are on the subject I have to say Obama has disappointed me with choosing Rick Warren to speak at his inauguration…why not just choose Palin! Warren not only opposes gay marriage but has compared it to incest and pedophilia. And when it comes to abortion, yes he wants to ban it but he also compared women who have them to Nazis and the pro choice position to Holocaust denial. Like I said, wasn’t Palin available?

Bravo to Brown, Boo to Barack