Suck it up

Why can’t I seem to find a good vacuum cleaner…I am jinxed when it comes to purchasing this particular item. Is there anyone out there who loves their vacuum cleaner? Maybe I can’t find one I like because I expect too much from it. When I push it back and forward I want to do it with ease and not be sweating after (although I could just skip weight training for that day). My main complaint is vacuuming floors…how do you do this without all the crap spitting out the back of the vacuum? How come I can go over one little dust bunny and the odds of it picking it up are 2-1…or is that 1-2…let’s just say 50%. Is it too much to ask for better odds.

Two weeks ago I thought I would try the Dyson…I like Mr. Dyson’s accent on his commercials and he appeared to be a decent guy. Well he claims that this vacuum does not lose suction. What he didn’t tell me is that the suction can be so strong that it ruins your carpet. I have Berber carpet and as soon as I turned on my Dyson all the fibers rose up too much. I threw my arms up and said “I give up”…my vacuum curse continues. I called Mr. Dyson and my vacuum is now waiting to be on trial this week. I had to ship it to their “claims department” and was told the meeting would take place this Thursday. So what, do a group of people sit around the table with my vacuum and my pictures of my ruined carpet and discuss my fate? I feel like I’m on trial…I don’t even get to call in on speaker phone and testify on my behalf. What kind of judicial system is this!! Is this meeting group sequestered? You have my vacuum, obviously only used once, can I just have my money back.

If anyone knows of a decent vacuum cleaner I would appreciate some help here.


6 Responses

  1. I have long shared your quest for a vacuum that is sensitive to MY needs.
    While loss of suction was never a concern in my youth,I find myself now facing the issue with a certain level of anxiety.Still…well..I’ll just say it.When I watch Mr.Dyson’s commercial I feel I am being talked down to.
    I understand you are quite taken by his tone,and perhaps it’s a gender thing,I just don’t know.I do know that at this point in my life I refuse to be made to feel…inferior.If that means sacrificing suction for my dignity then so be it!
    I’ve been let down by units as exotic as Rainbows,and as durable as Electrolux’s in the past.I’ve been making due with a series of Kenmores of late that ..while they don’t thrill me,they don’t break my heart or my bank account.

  2. Funny you say that, I was going to try the Kenmore series next…once I get my dignity back…I mean my money back from Mr. Dyson!
    And I agree, it probably is a gender thing. Women love that damn accent…I bet he doesn’t even have one.

  3. I should clarify…when I say..”at this point in my life I refuse to be made to feel…inferior”,I mean by a dude trying to sell me a vacuum.If…on the other hand you are an assertive woman who enjoys wearing certain adventurous undergarments or hanging outside gas station bathrooms off the Turnpike…I am perfectly willing to be “your bitch”.
    Good luck with that Kenmore!

  4. Thank you for clarifying…and all you assertive women out there…look for someone named Albert vacuuming with a Kenmore at a gas station off the Turkpike.

  5. Hard wood floors and a broom?

  6. I suggest Consumer Reports..Dyson never scores with CR
    Look at Kenmore from Sears

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